


Five times Emil and Lalli try to have their first kiss, and one time they actually succeed

by wanpan



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: M/M, i guess there is no proper tag for purrito but let me assure you, purrito is absolutely there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5324096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanpan/pseuds/wanpan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times Emil and Lalli try to have their first kiss, and one time they actually succeed

1-

 

When Lalli realised he wanted to kiss Emil, it hit him like a physical blow. It clenched his heart and stung his cheeks and made his body weak at his knees. He felt like he was about to pass out. He felt like he had never been more awake. The rusting chair under him was officially his best friend- he would have fallen over without it.

"Stop doing that, it's a bad habit." Emil lightly smacked Lalli's jiggling knee with his gloved hand. His other hand was holding Lalli's like a wake-up call, a promise to keep him safe. He was dirty with soot and dust, and his hair was mussed, his clothes bedraggled, but it was charming and wonderful and Lalli wasn't sure how to deal with the intense feeling of _want_ in his chest as he looked at Emil's lips. 

He kept staring, long past when Emil had stopped blathering and noticed where his line of sight was. Emil looked around in confusion, saw nothing behind him. Lalli's hands rose up slowly, like a puppet on strings, and he rested them on Emil's broad shoulders. Emil jolted at the touch, turned, a question dying on his tongue as Lalli slid his hands along his ridiculous collar, up his neck, on his cheeks. He lifted himself out of the chair slightly as he pulled Emil closer. Emil's face was going red, his eyes going wide- but his hands laid on top of Lalli's hands with a shy, hopeful expression. Lalli leant in, looked at those pretty parted lips, and his eyes began to flutter closed-

There was the sound of crashing, something turning to dust, and words that were certainly swearwords from further in the room, coming closer. Emil jerked back, face bright red and his shoulders hiked up around his ears. Lalli's hands fell to his lap. Behind a splintered bookshelf, Sigrun appeared, coughing and hacking.

"Ugh, half of these damned books have already turned to dust! This place is useless." She looked over at them with a self-righteous glance. "Am I right, or am I right?"

"R-right," Emil stuttered, averting her gaze. Sigrun, satisfied, turned to scowl at their small book pile. 

"Then we should start heading back with this load. I already checked the other rooms, there's nothing else. Start carting it down to Mikkel." She picked up a stack of books to demonstrate, and motioned for the other two to do the same. Emil reluctantly started piling books in his arms. He flashed a regretful smile to Lalli.

Lalli was too busy dying of embarrassment to notice.

 

\------------------------------

2-

 

The round of dinner they had each night was almost constantly disgusting. Even though Mikkel had improved tremendously, it was like moving house from the sewers to a cardboard box. Objectively, it was better, but it wasn’t _great_.

Emil took a very long time to eat- he's always been a slow eater, and feeling like his body was fighting him on every swallow didn't help at all. But it was secretly also a good method to have alone time with Lalli. 

As usual, just after his briefing, Lalli wandered out of the tank for food before he left. It was eaten more or less for Tuuri's sake than his own, from what Emil could guess. Lalli slinked over to Emil silently, almost like a cat. Emil wordlessly passed his prepared bowl over. Lalli nodded his thanks with a disdainful frown at the food. He was even less of a fan of Mikkel’s cooking than Emil.

He ate quickly. Emil watched him from the corner of his eye, his own bowl empty. There was something about the quick, efficient way Lalli moved in general that fascinated Emil. There was an elegant grace to his movements, sometimes punctuated with sharp gestures, sometimes languid stretches. Watching Lalli felt like watching a strangely composed dance, and Emil often couldn't tear his eyes away.

Lalli finished, and sat quietly next to Emil, his bowl in his hands. Emil took it from him and stacked it with his own, before dropping it on the snow-laden ground. They were quiet, enjoying each other's company and the chill of the new night. Lalli leant into him, and Emil automatically wrapped his arm around his shoulders as Lalli's head hit his chest. Their legs tangled together, and Emil let out a soft sigh. It was these moments that Emil loved most about them. The quiet moments spent together, just feeling the other's warmth, with no language barrier. Emil felt his mouth quirk into a smile as Lalli's arms circled his torso. It was intimate and soft. He didn't want Lalli to leave. 

The memory of yesterday's mission floated into his mind, and Emil paused. They were close, physically and relationship-wise, but the way Lalli had pulled him close, held his face so tenderly and shut his eyes- it was new. It was a good kind of new. Emil felt his face warm. They almost kissed. He was sure. Emil looked down at Lalli now, at his closed eyes and measured breaths, and wondered if he could do it now. He lifted his other arm and cupped Lalli's cheek. Lalli opened his eyes slowly, blearily, and looked up at Emil. Taking a deep breath, Emil leant in towards him, focusing on his lips. Lalli's eyes dilated, and he started to reach up to close the distance. Emil's mind was racing with a million different thoughts, but they turned to background noise as he felt the warmth radiating off Lalli's face, and drew even closer-

"Done yet?" Mikkel popped his head out of the tank, and saw the two boys sprawled apart from each other. Emil had fallen off the log he was sitting on with his legs splayed in the air. Lalli was staring dead-eyed at the sky, arms akimbo. Mikkel didn't even know how to begin to understand what happened.

"We're done," Emil called out weakly, holding their empty bowls in the air.

"All right?" Mikkel didn't seem to be asking about the bowls. He cleared his throat. "Lalli," he called, and the boy rolls over to look at him. "Time to go," he said, and made a shooing action at the same time. Lalli nodded, rolled to his feet. Mikkel stood staunchly in the doorway, and made certain Lalli had actually left. Lalli made a slow glance to Emil, who was still lying on the log, and patted his head sympathetically. With a final tightening of his collar, Lalli flicked on his hood and bounded away into the dark night. 

 

\------------------------------

3-

 

They stole small moments and movements daily. Small kisses on hands, intertwined fingers, hugs that lasted a second too long, head pats- it was nice, Lalli thought. He and Emil had finally understood something about each other clearly, even without the same language. But he was getting frustrated. They'd been interrupted from their actual first kiss twice already, and they'd had no other opportunities to try again. He could tell Emil was feeling as restless as himself. 

When he returned from scouting, a few days after the last failed attempt, Mikkel was already prepared and gave him a brief but thorough decontamination. Lalli nodded thanks and strode purposefully to their small campsite. Bubbling on the stove was the daily disgusting brew of sludge. Emil was already preparing his and Lalli's bowl when he looked up and saw Lalli's arrival. He grinned broadly, making his eyes crinkle at the corners. Lalli felt something in his chest swell. 

Not even glancing at Sigrun, who was sleepily mumbling through her breakfast, Lalli caught Emil's wrist, and stared at him meaningfully. Emil passed his bowl, caught his gaze, and raised his eyebrows. Lalli tugged his arm. Emil spilled a tiny bit of the sludge on the ground, making Lalli roll his eyes in partial exasperation and fondness. He marched Emil over to the tank, inside the main room, and into the bedroom. He shut the door behind them with a resounding clang.

"Lalli?" Emil stood in confusion, putting his bowl on the floor against the wall, far from his feet. "Something the matter?" 

Lalli mimicked him, placing his bowl beside Emil's. He stood up straight, straighter than usual, and sat on Emil's bed. He patted the side next to him. Emil's frown deepened, but he obliged and sat next to Lalli. 

After an awkward pause, Lalli took in a grounding breath, let it out, and held Emil's hands in his own. Without the gloves, he could feel the rough callouses and smooth curves of his hands, and the fluttering heartbeat in his wrists. Lalli looked up at Emil, who was starting to realise what was happening. Lalli closed his eyes, and leaned in, close enough that he could hear Emil's surprised intake of breath, then close enough that their noses bumped against each other. He turned his head slightly, like he'd seen couples in Keuruu do, and leaned in to close the final gap.

"Hey, are you two- oh no I'm so sorry I'm sO SORRY-!" Emil pulled back suddenly and Lalli's eyes snapped open. He whipped his head around to stare at the intruder. It was the sheep herder. Reynir's face matched his bright red hair, and he was covering his eyes and letting out a stream of distressed, apologetic gibberish. 

Lalli was going to kill him.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Lalli, no- LALLI, STOP-!" 

 

\------------------------------

4-

 

They slid into the office, when Tuuri was out to use the bathroom. Emil shut the door. He felt Lalli's hands twist him around, and Lalli wasted no time to cup his face, lean in with determination-

"Miu."

Lalli stilled. He looked to the side. He pulled away, slowly, reluctantly.

"What?" Emil demanded, frustrated. 

Lalli just pointed at their newest and smallest member. "The cat's here."

Emil followed his hand and saw the tiny bundle of fur swathed in a towel, staring up at them curiously. "It's just the cat," he said impatiently. Lalli looked back at him. "Can't we just...?" He gestured between the two of them.

Lalli shook his head rapidly, looking mildly distressed. "The cat will see," he said. He gestured to the cat and her eyes.

"Just- just cover her eyes, then," Emil made a show of covering the kitten's face, resulting a confused mewl and a tiny lick against his hand. 

Lalli just shook his head again. Emil sighed, and picked up the kitten from her perch.

"You're a real troublemaker," he frowned at her. The kitten closed her eyes, almost like a nod. Emil sighed, and started stroking the cat instead, sitting on the floor. Lalli curled up next to him. He linked their hands together like an apology. Like a promise. 

 

\------------------------------

5-

 

When Emil sits in his lap, he usually does it while apologising for his weight (at least, if Lalli understood him, he would understand that Emil was saying that. For all he knew, Emil was just apologising for the weather) and sitting against him uncomfortably. But Lalli would stroke his hair, or wrap his arms around Emil's waist, or press kisses to the back of his neck, and slowly Emil would relax and melt against him. 

Emil was idly fiddling with the fabric of his coat covering them like a blanket. His eyes were half closed, drowsy, as he flicked the blue trim. Lalli relaxed further into the leather seat of the cockpit with a warm sigh. He liked these quiet moments with Emil. He liked the softness of Emil's breathing, the way his chest rose and fell with each small breath. He liked Emil's warmth, so close to him. He even liked Emil's mindless conversation, even if he couldn't understand it. His voice was pretty. Emil was pretty.

Lalli checked over his shoulder at the kitten's basket, and saw it was empty. The cockpit was empty. They were alone. 

Lalli felt the familiar rush of adrenaline in his veins as he twisted Emil slightly in his lap. Emil looked up, eyes full of quiet warmth, and Lalli just really wanted to kiss him right now. And so he started to lean in, closing his eyes because he had basically memorised Emil's face by now.

Emil pressed his hand in Lalli's face. Lalli opened his eyes in confusion. Emil's face was flushed, but his eyes were looking worriedly behind the couch.

"Tuuri," Emil whispered. He pointed at the door. Lalli looked over to see his cousin diligently typing, absorbed in her work. He paled.

"Mrr," he groaned in frustration. But he was pretty glad Emil had warned him. The possibility of Tuuri, his cousin, seeing him kiss Emil would just- that would be weird. So weird. 

Still, he frowned and stuck his tongue out in her direction. Emil giggled at his childish display, and settled into his chest again.

 

\------------------------------

1+

 

Emil felt the claws of the troll just graze his jacket before he ducked out of its grasp. He sprinted down the creaking hallway, his breath burning in his chest. They thought that all of the troll husks in this building were dead. It looked like they'd missed one. It scrambled after him, sharp bones clacking on the floorboards as it screeched. The black noise burned his ears, and he wanted to scream, if only to block out the sounds of the damned. The troll was fast, howling when it careened into another wall as Emil took a sharp turn down a hallway, crashing into another wall himself. 

His heart ricocheted in his throat as he ran towards the exit. Cleanser instincts kicked in. It was still light outside. Sunlight would make the troll weaker. Dim light streamed through broken windows, and his breath started to come out in harsh pants. Fear made him fast, but the troll was faster. Emil definitely felt the claw of the troll rip into his pant leg as he twisted once more around a corner to the entrance of the building.

He burst outside, unsheathed his knife and turned to find the troll jumping to his face. He plunged the knife into the troll, right into its head, and watched it writhe painfully before it went still. He fell to sitting, gasping for breath, and flung the troll off his knife. At least, he tried to. A claw-like hand of bone clutched his own, causing him to screech as a second head raised up to stare at him. It wasn't a troll. It was a small giant. 

The second head was far more aggressive, screeching black flecks into his face and clawing at his hand. Red blossomed out and dripped onto the snow and seeped out onto his jacket as Emil struggled not to scream. He waved his knife around wildly, catching it in the ribs of the giant but not stopping it. The giant towered over him, almost the size of Mikkel. His gun was pinned on his back as he plunged his knife into the giant repeatedly, holding its grotesque body from him with his other hand. But though weakened, the giant was stronger. It clawed at his thick jacket, slicing it to ribbons, and its tail began to show, a sharp length of bone like a scorpion's tail, poised to strike at Emil's head.

Emil knew with a sudden clarity that this was it. He was going to die. He couldn't call for help- Lalli and Sigrun were battling their own trolls, and they didn't know how many else there were around. He couldn't stab the giant- his knife was stuck in its side. And he couldn't move, roll away, or stop the giant.

He would die here, barely a hero, barely able to protect himself.

As he desperately pulled at the knife, the giant grinned, a macabre smile of death,

and fell onto Emil, dead.

Emil shoved it off him and rolled to standing, gasping and panting for breath, and saw the thin blade sticking out of the second head. Even so, he pulled the knife out the side of the giant, and plunged it down into both heads again. The body did not move. He turned to the doorway of the building. Lalli was staring back at him, eyes wide with terror and concern. His arm was still outstretched in a throwing position.

Emil didn't care anymore. 

He ran to Lalli, and kissed him square on the mouth, sobbing in relief and terror and love and a swirl of a million other emotions that roiled within him. Lalli kissed him back desperately, gripping his tattered jacket and holding on to him like he'd disappear if he let go. Emil's hands fisted in Lalli's hair as he pressed against him, tears rolling hot down his cheeks. When they broke apart, Emil's hands mirrored Lalli's as they checked each other for injuries. Lalli had a tear on his sleeve, oozing slightly with blood, but other than rips on his jacket, he was fine. Lalli held Emil's bloodied hand with shock, cradling it gently against his chest. He looked at Emil, eyes concerned, and wiped Emil's tears with the pads of his fingertips. He kissed Emil again, slower, deeper, and Emil flung his arms around him. He wanted to feel Lalli close to him, to feel safe and alive and with the person he loved. 

They finally broke apart again, Lalli holding his face tenderly, wiping Emil's tears away again with his thumb. Emil choked out a laugh through his sobs, holding Lalli's hand against his face. They heard a loudly cleared throat. 

"This is very touching," Sigrun said, with the tiniest of fond grins, "but we have more important things to do right now. Such as getting the hell out of this joint!"

"R-right!" Emil pulled out of Lalli's embrace, and held his hand tightly as all three of them sprinted to the tank. The sound of waking trolls was starting, and they planned to be as far away as possible.

Lalli leaped on to the tank and hauled Emil in, with Sigrun jumping over them. She slammed the door closed, and the tank smoothly pulled away.

Emil fell against the wall, panting, and Lalli sat next to him, equally exhausted. Sigrun looked worse for wear, her forearm slick with blood. Mikkel burst into the room with medical supplies at the ready. After a glance at the three, he started work on Emil first. Emil sat stiffly as Mikkel pulled his jacket off, and started dabbing his wounds with disinfectant. Emil hissed and tensed his arm. Lalli held Emil's unharmed hand in his own, squeezing tightly. Emil grinned weakly at him, and squeezed back tighter when Mikkel put more antiseptic on his maimed hand. 

"You might need stitches for this one," Mikkel hummed, frowning. "Sorry Emil, I'm afraid stitches aren't my strong suit." 

"That's fine," Emil said, quieter than he expected. Mikkel nodded, and passed him a painkiller as he pressed a cloth rag to his hand.

"Hold this tightly, it will slow the bleeding. I need to check Lalli and Sigrun quickly," he said slowly. Emil nodded, face white as he slipped his hand out of Lalli's grip to hold down the cloth. Lalli helped by pressing on it as well. 

As Mikkel turned to help Sigrun next, Emil shifted his head. Lalli was staring at Emil's hand, quietly and intently. Emil leant onto his shoulder, causing the gaze to be snapped onto him. Lalli's stare softened. Emil smiled crookedly and pressed a kiss to Lalli's jaw. Lalli tilted his head, and then his lips were moving against Emil's, soft and warm. It wasn't desperate like before, but slow and gentle, taking their time to learn each other's lips. Emil's heart swelled in his chest.

They broke the kiss, and he rested his head on Lalli's shoulder again. "As far as first kisses go," he hummed, "that wasn't bad at all." He chuckled to himself. An arm circled around him, pulling him close, and Emil felt warm and safe in Lalli's embrace.

For the first time since he went on this trip, he felt like he was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :9  
> (I know it's cheesy, but I love the 5 Times trope. A lot.  
> Constructive criticism welcome!)  
> **EDIT: tay-bee made a [comic version](http://tay-bee.tumblr.com/post/137504009555/five-times-emil-and-lalli-try-to-kiss-and-one) of this fic- you need to see it, it's so beautifully drawn. Thank you so much, tay-bee!! <3  
> (http://tay-bee.tumblr.com/post/137504009555/five-times-emil-and-lalli-try-to-kiss-and-one)


End file.
